At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I need moral support for this bender
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
