new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
smell my finger.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
