my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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