ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
