i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There's always time for handjobs
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
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