Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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