How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
