She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Is it penis luge time yet?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
