i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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