She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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