pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
