definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
