so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
