oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
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It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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