She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
even my farts smell like vagina
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
