so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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