My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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