Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
