K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
