I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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