Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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