Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
