I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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