5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
