a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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