and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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