As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
