I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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