now i know why i became what i already was.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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