i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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