is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
