let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm like, not good at living.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
