lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
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