She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
