things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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