I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They took my balls.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
