I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
