the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
