goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
