Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
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