I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
