Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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