we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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