What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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