Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
