Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
