4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize