I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
