Please, let me fuck your mom
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
