I think I just saw someone hide a body.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize