I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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