lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize