I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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