finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
