Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
