5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
