I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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