My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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